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José Andrés Calls for Catalonia ‘Sanity’ in Op-Ed

José Andrés Calls for Catalonia ‘Sanity’ in Op-Ed


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The Washington, D.C.-based Spanish chef hopes to see his homeland stay together

Dreamstime

Prominent Spanish chef-restaurateur José Andrés, whose nationwide restaurant empire is based in his adopted hometown of Washington, D.C., weighed in on the turmoil in Catalonia with an October 29 op-ed for The Washington Post, expressing his hope that the region will remain part of Spain while continuing to enjoy significant autonomy and a proud Catalan identity.

The region in northeastern Spain — which enjoys a language and culture distinct from that of the rest of the country — has been in turmoil since a referendum on independence, scheduled for October 1, was declared illegal by the central government in Madrid, leading to clashes between police and Catalan nationalists. The Catalan government eventually declared independence, leading Madrid to seize direct control of the region's government and call a new election for December 21.

In the op-ed, Andrés — who has become a notable political voice in recent years — calls for “sanity” using the Catalan word seny, which he explains also implies levelheadedness and integrity. The chef is highly critical of both sides in the conflict, calling the separatist leaders “deeply cynical” but also encouraging Madrid to be “more willing to listen.” Andrés claims that a “silent majority” of Catalans prefer to remain part of Spain while maintaining autonomy in government, language, and culture, and he calls upon such moderates to be more vocal in the debate.

Andrés was born in Asturias in 1969 but moved to Catalonia with his family in 1974. In the op-ed, he expresses a love for both Spain and Catalonia — calling the latter the “land of opportunity,” as it has long attracted immigrants from other regions.

The chef, who became an American citizen in 2013 and has served the State Department as a culinary ambassador, has been a vocal advocate for immigrants in the United States and has publicly clashed with xenophobic politicians.

It’s almost hard to believe that Andrés could find the time to pen an op-ed, as he’s recently been busy making headlines with his World Central Kitchen charity’s relief efforts in hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico. But the all-action chef always seems to find the energy to support any cause he believes in — here are 17 reasons José Andrés is the hero we all need.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.


GRINDRphiles 11: Ginger

I’m momentarily distracted as Adele’s “Someone Like You” starts playin on my iPhone. I’m immediatley transported to the music video, lip synching the words (without moving my mouth, of course – can’t be obvious) and imagining myself walking through the black and white streets of Paris.

“Are you ever going to come in?”

“Hunh?” Startled by a stranger’s voice, I snap back to reality from my fantasy music video world, and turn around. There he is, Ginger – this week’s interviewee, holding the door open. “So, are you going to come in, or you are you just going to keep standing in the rain?” he says with a playful grin spread across his face.

We find a spot in the back of the cafe, by the windows, and drop off our stuff while we go to order. A couple minutes later, the waitress places three cups of tea in front of the two of us. I’m not sure what’s gotten lost in translation here. It’s not exactly like tea is the drink of choice to double fist – but figure it’s not worth correcting her. Ginger and I chit chat for a bit while our tea steeps, and then officially kick off the interview with the removal of our tea bags.

Alexander: Let’s start with my favorite question. If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could only have one cocktail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ginger: It would probably be a vodka soda. It’s low calories so I won’t get fat because I’m at the beach. It goes down like water, and it can be cheap rail and I’ll never know the difference. It’s pretty basic.

Alexander: All alone on a desert island, and still worried about getting fat – too funny. What if you were a DJ? What would your name be?
Ginger: These kids in Spain used to call me “Lucky Strike” [pronounces it “Louky Strike”]…
Alexander: Like the cigarettes?
Ginger: Yes! I didn’t even know what they were. I think I’d be a terrible DJ though, people wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’d just play music I want to hear.
Alexander: Which would be…
Ginger: Anything from Tiesto and club music, to Bossa Nova, to Classical, to Big Band. I feel like DJ Lucky Strike would play a lot of fusion between Bossa Nova and Jazz, with some House.

Alexander: That’s a pretty interesting mashup of styles you just named there. What if you were a specific genre of music though, what would you be?
Ginger: If I were a music genre, I would probably be Big Band music. Music from the 30’s and the 40’s. It’s great music. It was mass produced so there was a lot of that music that was put out at once. They didn’t think what they were producing would be quality stuff. They just thought it would be cheap. Turns out to be music that people are familiar with decades and decades later. I think music that doesn’t seem as important now will be remembered later.
Alexander: So, what is it about Big Band music?
Ginger: Frank Sinatra. I don’t know, it’s just sexy. The look is fun, the era was exciting, and the music is just really hot and fun. I like the bass, the swing, the whole feel of it. It’s timeless.

Alexander: Man you’re an old soul, Ginger. Now outside of Ol’ Blue Eyes, what’s the first thing that attracts you to someone?
Ginger: The first thing? Probably eyes, actually, and a smile. The eye contact – the way someone reacts to you, and how you react to them. The way they make you smile. If we laugh together, if you get my humor…
Alexander: That’s sooo important
Ginger: It is, seriously. I don’t think I’m the funniest person, but I have some dry humor that you have to be able to get. That’s the tipping point. If that happens, let’s see where we go from there. Otherwise, let’s just call it a night.

Alexander: Eyes, smile, and humor – I have to say, that’s a pretty killer combo. Now let’s say you meet someone with all those qualities, where do you take them to impress them on a first date?
Ginger: I don’t usually take guys on first days, they take me.
Alexander: Well damn, let me brush your shoulder off!
Ginger: [Blushes] That’s really an asshole thing to say, I’m sorry. It’s probably why I don’t get many dates [laughs]. I think I would take someone where we would feel most comfortable, in an intimate setting. I like Posto. I think it’s a fun environment that’s not too romantic. It’s semi-nice, and it’s pretty open so there’s the possibility of a friendship or more. It’s like a blank canvas and you get to choose what you want to do.

Alexander: Let’s do a 180, tell me about your worst date?
Ginger: When I first came out and was meeting guys, there are a lot of first dates that I block out of my mind because they were terrible. They were really bad. One was a year ago with this guy I met online. He seemed really cool and put together. I met him at his apartment, and we walked to a coffee shop three blocks away. The way to the coffee shop was kind of dark and windy, and he sort of looked like Norman Bates. I know this sounds terrible…[starts to laugh]
Alexander: …but it’s not like he had a dead mother in his living room?
Ginger: I mean he was a really nice guy, but he talked really soft and there was just something off about him. One of my friends always texts me “don’t get murdered,” and I totally thought it was going to happen that night. I don’t know what his financial situation was, but he kept saying he wasn’t hungry but then when I offered him half of my food, he ate it immediately. He said he was a student at George Washington University (GW), but it turns out he was a night enforcement officer at GW.
Alexander: Like a security guard?
Ginger: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing was just weird. I tried to just enjoy the coffee, but he would talk so quietly that the whole night I kept having to asking him to repeat. I felt like a jerk because I kept asking him to speak up.

Alexander: Coffee with a serial killer, sounds like an amazing date [chuckles]. What if he had been Norman Bates though, what would your obituary say?
Ginger: Oh gawd. “Didn’t See It Coming” or some mushy crap, like, “Really Sweet Guy”.
Alexander: What do you want to be remembered for?
Ginger: When I get older, I think I want to be a professor. If I go into medicine, I eventually want to cross over into college and start teaching. I would like to be remembered for what I taught – for my ideas, for some sort of method or approach that I came up with or taught others.

Alexander: What about your greatest inspiration? Who do you think is responsible for shaping the person you are today?
Ginger: Sadly, my mother. She raised me, mostly as a single mother, from ages five to nineteen. I think anywhere from my looks – which I take from my mother – to my temperament…
Alexander: What kind of temperament do you have?
Ginger: I’m pretty feisty I just shoot off. I’m stubborn and irrational at times. She also taught me most things. She taught me how to cook, architecture ,and design. She taught me to love. She’s been someone who’s molded who I am.
We just don’t talk right now. Oh, and she didn’t make me gay. That’s for sure. If she did, she wouldn’t have such a hard time with it.

Alexander: Sorry to hear that I know that can be rough. Who knows though? People constantly change, hopefully for the better. Let’s switch gears, tell me about your last good read.
Ginger: This is a terrible confession. I don’t read enough! I do most of my ‘reading’ through auditory podcasts. I love my Nutrition Diva. There’s a group of consultants on quickanddirtytips.com, and they each do a once a week segment. There’s a nutritionist, a financial advisor, etc. In eight minutes I’ll get 10 things to look out for in an IRA, or I’ll get information on whether MSG is good or bad.
Alexander: Why do you like the Nutrition Diva so much?
Ginger: Well, she’s a diva. She used to be an Opera singer.
Alexander: Oh, like a real Diva?
Ginger: Yeah, she was a legit Diva. I sing as well, so I like that. She excels at the things I’m trying to be better at. In any science, it’s important that if you teach something or preach about something, and the next day, if there’s a study that comes out and turns everything upside, you have to be able to go with it. You have to admit to being wrong. A lot of people get stuck in a rut, saying things like “Low carb is good,” even when times change. She’s very open to admitting her faults and going against what she previously said.

Alexander: I don’t think that’s only applicable to science. That’s a pretty good life lesson in general. Now finish this sentence for me, “In 2012, I would like to see…”
Ginger: I would like to see Brazil. In all honesty, there’s a boy in Brazil that I’ve been talking to for about a year now. We agreed that it makes sense to try to meet each other this year.
Alexander: How did you guys meet?
Ginger: Facebook. He’s really nice, great smile, great eyes – we FaceTime here and there. We just decided we wanted to meet. I would go there but it’s their Winter during our Summer so he’s talked a lot about coming in June or July.

I step back out into the rain, leaving Ginger at Steam to do some work. Yeah, Brazil is definitely sounding really nice right about now. Fifteen minutes later, I’m a block from my friend’s house when my phone goes off. “Hi Mom.” She’s calling for our usual Sunday phone date, except today’s conversation seems to be focusing on how well my ex-boyfriend is doing in his new job. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, but apparently my mom has all the latest details. They’re Facebook friends – thank you modern technology. Ginger flashes in my mind, and I think about our own relationship right after I came out. Those were some really difficult times. Then I think about the holidays this year, and how I walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find her sneaking a call with my ex. “Oh I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas!” Now here we are five months later, and she’s still singing his praises. It’s been a long journey to here. Although I sometimes wish I didn’t have to hear about how amazingly my ex was doing from my own mother, I have to admit, it’s kind of nice she cares so much. Like I said, people change.